sunday night by myself

So I cried my eyes out watching "Heaven and Earth". Great story. Deep down from the bottom of my heart, I feel how lucky I am to be born under a peaceful sky. No war. No killings. No pain from love shattered by bombs and guns. Le Ly did love Steve. She loved him with a true love of a woman. But "peace is not the end of war between a man and a woman, between heaven and earth". If only there had been a way out for Steve...

It is raining outside. I knew it by watching from the window. Second year here and I haven't got used to how rain made no sounds at all yet. It's just strange, like you're watching a movie with a mute button on, you know what's going on but you don't really get it. I miss the sweet solemnity you've only got when hearing the sound of rain and how you could get some kind of romantic ways of thinking in rainy seasons. And the momentary loneliness during a bus ride from school until I got home and had dinner with my parents (though they had good days and bad days)

Roommate didn't even stay home tonight, which is a Sunday night. She just dropped off groceries at then went with her boyfriend again. It's ok for me in a way that I can have the whole place to my own (so that I can exercise at night before going to bed) but in another way, I'm kinda seeing a distance growing between us. I don't know if I used the right word here, "distance", but definitely we aren't like before and again, it's all a matter of sudden.

When I want to talk, I want somebody to always be there. I want to be able to talk non-stop about the most silly things and laugh as much as I can about jokes no one else can get (I was gonna say "laugh until I cry" but it sounds quite cheesy here). All I want is the feeling of belonging, which is a little bit hard to find right now, I guess.

Have you noticed that each of us now have a different story? I mean, it's no longer our stories, can you see it? A part of growing up is being apart from those whom you used to see everyday. Sometimes, each of us can't do nothing for the others. We just can't always know the right things to do, the right words to say and sometimes, we may even run out of things to tell. But it's ok because once we get together, just the same old good stories are enough to fill up our time and space. I hope we all are on the right track.

Let's get a lot of things done this week.

I'll be home soon.