and I wonder if I ever cross your mind

Went to the movies to see Madagascar 3 today. It was ok, didn't leave much impression on me but the colors and the use of Katy Perry's song fire work are pretty in good place. Watching the circus show going on with all that rainbow colors got me thinking, "Wow, if only the world could be that pretty". I felt kinda empty after the movie for no reasons.

I miss him. It struck me a little bit that when I was sitting in the movies, I missed how we held each other's hands while gazing at the big screen. It's weird watching a movie in the theater without any arms or hands to hold. Even at home, I always clung to tụi bây's arms.

I miss tụi bây too. A lot. Every time I'm in this kind of weird mood, talking to parents never helps. Not trying to be mean and selfish by saying that, but seriously, we're just not that type of parents and child that can openly share thoughts and stories. And it calms me to realize that I still have you guys around. 'Cause I never have to tell much about anything. I never have to make sense of what I'm trying to say. Never have to hide how I really feel and what I really think. And somehow, you always understand exactly everything I'm trying to get across. How much I appreciate that.

There are days that I don't know what I'm doing. I wonder if my parents are happy. If my sister is happy. Are they living the life they wanna live? Even if it's not, are they laughing every day? Are they not feeling lonely or empty? No matter what they do, I hope they don't have to put up with or suffer from anything for me. Everyone should live truly happy in order to make everyone else truly happy.

And I don't know if I can make a lot of money. I mean I don't need to make that much, but still, I want to make a decent amount so that I can pay for my parent's trip to anywhere they want, buy my sister's nice clothes, get friends nice things. I mean I want to live a comfy life, not worrying too much about financial problem. But how? I just suddenly can't find the confidence at the moment. Why is it that young people sometimes feel so lost and find themselves so out of place?

One of the biggest I've learned in life is, don't do anything that would make you end up feeling lonely. Right now, you may be walking alone on your own road, but make sure at the very end of everything you've been through, you'll find somewhere that you are found. Because trust me, "everyone wants to be found".

Is he thinking of me now and then? I'm not gonna lie that I feel pathetic to still be thinking of him while he's having fun with his girlfriend. But whatever, I will just face it and give myself some more time. Can't wait to see him again to say out loud the conversation I've been practicing in my head.

Man, I'm such a girl after all.