gloomy in and out

Ok, I'm not really in a good mood to day so I'm gonna talk about some fun things that happened so far. Well, the reason set me in this mood is, again, prom. I got a dress, I got a ticket but I dont have any kind of excitement. This is so not interesting to me at all. In the end, what am I gonna remember about this school except for Freifelder, Mrs. Higgins and Galluzzo ? It seems like I'm exaggerating a little bit, maybe more than that will remain in my mind but not too many. In fact, in some of the most ridiculous moments, I wish I could forget it all. Sorry Vernon, this is must be the thousandth time I said I disliked you.
And girls are complicated. Apart from my true friends, I find other girls so out of my understanding. Actually, their thinking of me as weird and eccentric sounds more logical and reasonable than my thinking of them that way. But whatever, I cant help it. Bars, clubs, dancing, drinking, dressing up, makeups, flirting, high heels and girly girly clothes just dont have the power to attract me at all. I'd rather spending my whole weekends reading my favorite mangas or figuring out how to play Machinarium or doing things that a typical teenager girl would never do on the weekends. That's why whenever I'm in a new environment, I barely get to be a part of them at first and it is more comfortable to me to chat with boys. About stuff normal girls never talk about. Just like my VUS class. I sat among a group of boys, no one at the same age as one another, but we joked and laughed always. Just like my chemistry tutor. I just talked to him the other day and realized how nice we still are to each other and how much I miss it when he was telling me I was the first one to know about his "new" love story. Just like Khoi. At first it started out as my complaining about my boredom, my emptiness, my everything here. Then we grew into a habit of talking about super random things, such as my "hei, is it pajamas or pyjamas" or his"wait a min, I have to look for a shoe under my bed"
Ok. I'm kinda off topic. I'm gonna tell about stories that made my day now.
It was the Friday after AP calc exam on Wed. We watched Transformer in Calc class. Freifelder, after struggling to set the movies up, he asked "Have you ever seen this before ?". I go "Yeh". "Are you gonna be scared?" I looked at him, smiling half way, "No I'm not" and thinking to myself "What ? What's so scary about Transformer?". He continued "My daughter got scared at the beginning". I smiled again, one of my "gentle smile" "No, I'm not gonna be scared". "Well if you need, I can sit next to you and hold your hand". He absolutely was just kidding, but still, it was a sweet thing to hear in the last period of a Friday.
It was today. After per 4 of History, I usually walk upstairs to my locker and instead of going to lunch, I root in the library all the time. Who cares about lunch in cafeteria where all I see is annoying kids. And as usual, while I'm on my way, I would see him. I'm in front. He's behind. I just happen to know he is there. Let me get back to the story. So I walked out of History today, heading straight to the staircase. From behind, somebody said "Hello Thao". You know who it was, dont you ? So I go "Hi, how are you doing?". He answered something like he was good and asked me back or so, I couldnt really hear it since it was noisy around us. And I asked him what happened to his elbow. I talked to him about nice design of Machi. He said he didnt like it despite the very nice design and he was playing starcraft 2 so...Then I was like "oh you play starcraft 2" and he was like "you play starcraft?" with his tone tinged with quite a surprise. "No" and I laughed softly and "but my friend does". He was in front of his class and looked at me like "you dont know what you're missing". I continued my way to my locker. All in my mind was "What just happened ? He talked to me?". Standing closely, he was taller than I remembered. It's been a while since March. We haven't said anything to each other until today. Is it awkward ? Yeh, it is. But it brought me some joy.
Wait. I got a 100 on Cacl quiz. I love Freifelder. I still hate the fact that my cell phone has no signals in school and my last year in high school is kinda nothing-much-to-tell. I'm alone in this school. And lonely also. As well as good things, ugly things will come to an end too. That end just appears to be farther away. Because by nature, people dont like ugly things.