summer heat is burning

Sometimes, the only thing I ask from my parents is to leave me alone. But they just can't never seem to fathom that. The more I want them to leave me alone when I'm not in any great mood, the more they keep talking about what I don't even know. Why do they have the right to get angry and say whatever they want to say and don't give a damn how awful they sound to other people but when it's my turn to be mad, mom always tells me to stop and fake a smile, pretend to be happy so that dad wouldn't start to blame everything on her? Why am I not allowed to be mad at the place so called "home"?

I need some space to mull over thoughts, and some time for anger to pass me by. There is no way I can stop anger. It comes and stays there. I can only wait until it goes. Do they ever get that?

Well, I guess these are the first tough days of being 19. Growing up is bitter and sour every once in a while, huh? But the will to lead a happy life hasn't faded in me yet. I don't wanna someday be like most grown-ups around me. I have seen them sigh and hear the words "put up with life" too much already. I am not one of them, and I will do the best I can not to. I am 19. I want to be positive and roll toward a future which I will make bright. I don't think I'm being too demanding, or am I?

Dear parents, you should know it would be abnormal if I were totally fine. Just the thought of that chick having screwed around here is enough to make me burn. I am so mad that I think I wouldn't hesitate to slap her right on the face real hard with all the strength inside me if she were in front of me right now. Even though I know it would hurt my hand.

And myself too.