I turned 19

I left off the entry I was working on on my birthday. I didn't really know what to tell. Nothing much has happened over the course of 19 years. I haven't done anything great nor achieve something big in life. And the spell of time doesn't fall only on me. It falls on my parents too. 19 years has passed since the day they first had me. Sure they're getting old.

Sometimes when I have nothing to do, I found myself imagining my parents 19 years ago. I happened to be a girl. Thanks God for this, otherwise I would have to bear the name I don't like at all for the rest of my life. Not that I'm particularly fond of the name I have now, but at least, it's a decent one and most of my friends rarely call me by that anyway. I wonder if my parents had any arguments over the names they picked for their children. I wish I could remember how it felt like to see my parents for the first time. How happy were they? How did they look at me and hold me in their arms? But you know, maybe there weren't such memories in my little brain at the time to begin with anyway. How could a person know such things?

So now I'm 19 years old, going to be a sophomore this coming fall. I never had a boyfriend and not sure if I'm going to have one in the near future. This single life has its own attraction. And I'm being drawn to it. I don't want to share my life with anyone. I don't want to fall out of my regular orbit. I don't want to have a new hairstyle, worry about my outfit, wait for a phone call because of some random person in this world yet. Right now, it's not a problem.

Anyway, I like being 19.

Even the sound of it sounds nice.