it started out as a feeling

Sitting at the library waiting for the shutter to come. Normally, I enjoy sitting outside but it is freakin cold out. The kind of coldness that goes into your brain and brings you headache whenever you inhale. The kind of coldness that doesn't just linger on your skin but actually pass through all the layers of your clothes and you could feel like it touches every single cell in your body. This sucks. The regular feeling when another year is approaching its end sucks.
And I've been addicted to Korean drama these days. Those cheesy romances have their spells on me. What can I do when I have no schoolwork to do anyway? Going to the mall, eating out with hyper roommate and her boyfriend seriously are the only two things I do besides watching drama. Life where you don't belong is pretty simple: school, home, school, home...It is somewhat like a straight line on a blank piece of paper. No spontaneous curves. And if you know me, you will also know that I hate things that are too symmetric. But this is worse. It's just a straight line, you can't even say it is symmetric.

Seriously, I don't know what's really going on in my life. Being apart from my parents makes it hard for me when we're under the same roof again. But living here isn't that great either. It's not black, it's not white. It's grey. Nothing seems clear. I'm losing the idea of who I am. Lots of time, I know I have changed a lot but what I am changing into, I have no clue. But I have nothing to complain about my life. I have no excuses, no reasons to say I am so tired. The only way to go through everything is to put effort into what I do. I guess.

A little bit of tropical sunshine and a morning waking up to a "tô phở" would mean more than anything here right now. I'm longing for the simplest things in that small town where every single sound threads the string that ties my heart.

finished in North Carolina, the 2nd day.